Sunday, April 27, 2008

Purpose here on earth.

I wanted to write something inspirational but I don't know how well it will go, but I'm going to give it a shot because I really just want to get it out and I think typing it might help, even if it helps just a little bit.

My whole life I have wanted to be a mother, but I become a mother is a way I never expected to happen. I dreamed as a little girl that I would marry the man of my dreams at age 22 (because that's how old Annie Banks was when she got married in the movie Father of the Bride!), I would have 2 children, about 2 years a part. They were both going to be girls of course. We were going to live in a small town and own a house and I was going to be a teacher. Every little girls dreams right?? Well my dreams didn't exactly happen that way.

I got pregnant at age 21 by a man I'm not ever going to marry. My life was turned upside down by some of the decisions that father made. On January 18th 2007 I found out I was having a little boy, which I knew all along! June 9th I give birth to the most beautiful little boy in the whole world! He is everything a mother could ask for, but I'm still single! That's okay though, I was happy being single. I was happy with my life. That is until October 8th 2007, when I meet the next man of my dreams, Chad. Life seriously could not get any better. Chad was everything and more. He loved hunting, he loved spending time with both Layton and I, and he would do anything for me! I would do the same for him. He was a little shy but that was okay, I knew someday he would come around. Then in the middle of November, I think it was November 17th 2007, I found out I was pregnant again. WHAT!! This can NOT be happening to me! Not so soon, We tried to prevent any pregnancies from happening, how could this be! I waited a few days to take a test. Once it came back positive, twice. I knew I had to tell Chad the news. We had only known each over for just over a month! But once I told him, everything seemed it would be okay, because that's what Chad told me. He knew, everything would work out. We knew we loved each other, and we would make things work somehow!! Enough with that...

The reason I am writing this is because I think I have found some comfort in knowing I might have found my purpose here on earth. On dream already has come true, I am a mother, but not the way I expected it to happen. Chad was killed in a car accident on March 28th 2008, and I am carrying his child. Who else can ever say that? No one will ever be able to give the gift I am going to be giving to the Wingen's and to all the people that loved Chad. All my questions that I had in November seem to be answered. I'm having this baby to give life to people who lost a life, it won't be the same life but in a sense I feel like I am giving them something or a part of something they lost, and I lost. I don't know how this may sound but I feel like a living mircle. This baby will be a living miracle!! God works in mysterious ways and we (Baby Wingen and I) are living proof. We all miss Chad and the birth of this baby will be bittersweet to all involved but I hope everyone finds some sort of comfort in all of this.

Maybe my dreams as a child don't need to come true because I am living something that is indescribable. Everyday is different and everyday is hard but everyday I feel a living part of Chad that I can hold on to for the rest of my life.

I am blessed, through birth and through death.

Miss you Chad!!!!!


Wednesday, April 23, 2008

More on Teething

I have a picture that I wanted to show you all to prove that Layton is really teething and that it is really bothering him!!

Hope you enjoy!!

yes that is him chewing on a rock. Don't worry right after I took the picture I got rid of the rock so he wouldn't break his new teeth!!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Those Darn Teeth!

Layton is cutting more teeth. I feel so bad for him!!! He can't seem to get anything far enough back there to chew on. We tried going to Abby's track meet but only got to stay for Abby's first and I guess only race (The track meet got rained out! AGAIN!). Thank Goodness for Brenda because she came over to wait out the rain and had Layton laughing. Soon after she left he went to sleep. I wish I could cut those teeth for him because he is in so much pain, and I have tried EVERYTHING!!! Hopefully they pop through soon.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Girls Night

Friday night us younger girl cousins went out for the night!! It was a blast! It was so nice to get out again and laugh a little! ok...maybe we laughed A LOT! I being the oldest was the driver of the oldest car! We made it there and back safely though. We went to eat at Ruttles in St. Peter first. Katie hadn't been to St. Peter since "her junior year of high school!" or so she says.. And she was just shocked that ruttles was right next to the movie theater.. HOW COOL!! We gave our waiter a hard time just because the menu and specials were confusing for a bunch of girls! Long story so I'm not going to go into detail about it.

Then we walk over to the movie theater, Katie was also very shocked that we were going to leave our car in the parking lot and walk to the movie theater. It was okay though, it didn't get towed. We went to Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Abby and I got our free popcorn without any trouble. Expect when the other 3 girls thought I budged in front of some poor college student but he actually let me go in front of him! I guess Kt and Linds had an eventful time at the concession stand. You will have to ask them but I think it involved the manger flinging open a popcorn bag and then running off to fix the movie screen. "CAN I HELP WHOSE NEXT!" The movie was really funny and apparently a group of guys behind us thought it was so funny that they had to laugh REALLY loud and annoying at EVERY LITTLE THING! My hormones were running wild by that time. Thank Goodness I was able to control myself before I decided to throw some popcorn at them!

It was a good time all around. I'm glad I was able to get out with those girls and have a fun time!! Can't wait to do it again!!!
Katie and I at Ruttles
"My Popcorn"--I guess Kt didn't want her popcorn in the picture..she threw it on the ground!
Uecker Cousins at Lisa's Wedding Shower!! Love them!!!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

My little baby isn't a baby anymore

Today I had to hold back the tears as I brought a blanket and pillow to daycare. You are probably wondering why I would cry over that..Well Layton is no longer sleeping in the playpen at daycare. He is now sleeping on the floor with the big kids! Yesterday he followed one of this "friends" into the living room and laid down by him and fell a sleep on the floor. And today he did the same thing. He will not move or play with the kids or try to wrestle them. He just goes to sleep. Those ladies have something in their blood that kids love because I could never get him to do that!! He just wants to be a big boy!

Nothing else is new with me. I think I am getting bigger by the second but that's what happens when your pregnant I guess!! We are all so excited to meet this new blessing!!!

Until next time....

First time at the park!

Thursday, April 10, 2008


So Layton has went from a laid back mellow fellow to a never ending busy bee. He still is a lot more mellow than his cousin Brayden but boy, is he sure MOVING! I can't keep up. He loves pushing toys, bottles, balls, trucks or whatever he can get his hands on around the kitchen. He will spend 15 minutes in there chasing the things that get a way from him. His new thing as of Lately is pointing. (See picture below)

Another one of his favorite things to do is wrestle. Everyday when I get home from work we wrestle on the floor. Well I think he has learned that anyone or anything that is laying on the floor wants to wrestle with him. He would not leave Brayden alone one night when Brayden just wanted to lay on the floor and drink his bottle. I had to peel Layton off of him but he would go right back to Brayden. Apparently he is now doing this at daycare. Don't know how I am going to explain that one to him. Oops.. what kind of mother am I!! The next picture is of Brayden and Layton.. I think Layton couldn't get out of that hold even if he tried his hardest. Brayden was getting him back for all the times Layton attacked him!!

That's all that is new with us. I am still trying to understand the last couple of weeks. Everyday gets a little better, not really easier, but better!!! I hope I can stay strong through every emotion that runs through my already tired body!!!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Tragic Ending

On Friday March 28th, I lost the father of my soon to be son. He was killed in truck accident. It has been a rough week but we will always remember the person he was!! He was very excited to become a father in July. I have no words to describe the pain we are feeling right now, but I have the blessing living inside of me. He will be so special to everyone who knew Chad!! He will be missed dearly!!!!!!!