Yesterday I had one of those days..and lately I haven't been having them as often. It was a "I really miss Chad day" I seen pictures of his headstone and it just became all to real! Honestly I don't even like going out there but to see the final touches was kind of hard. It's only been about 8 months but that was the last piece to be placed. or so it seems. And what makes it even harder is the Holidays that are right around the corner. 1 year ago I was the happiest girl ever, now today, I am grieving something that was good in my life..for once. Its like one minute your on top of the world and the next everything is turned upside down. I look at Lane now and I am sad for him. He will never know his Dad, he will never hear his voice, he will never smell him, play baseball with him, hunt with him, watch a scary movie with him, read a book with him, Chad won't be there to teach him how to ice skate and eventually play hockey, I sure the heck don't know how. I will try my darnest to do whatever I can to make sure he knows as much about his father as possible and I know the Wingen's will too. Really..that's all we can do and we can let Chad do the rest from above... okay I just have to vent.. Ann tells me I should do that in whatever way helps..this would be it...
Layton is continuing to amaze me everyday! The things he is saying just make me laugh. Yesterday he started sitting on the potty. I'm not pushing potty training, he wanted to do it. He didn't pee of course but he sat and sat and used A LOT of toilet paper. and I'm afraid to say it but I think the terrible two's are starting. Today at daycare he had 3 timeouts..once for bitting and twice for hitting. That's not normal for him, although, tonight has been really rough so maybe it was the weather..lets just hope thats what it was.
Lane is growing like a weed. He is almost rolling over, his eyes changed to a hazel color, and he is almost eating baby food. Can you believe on the 29th he will be 4 months old!!! Where has the time gone? I am looking forward to the Holidays with my boys!!!
And for me, lets see.. I wake up, get kids ready, go to work, come home from work, play with the kids, bathtime, then bed time.. that's pretty much my life..Except for this past weekend when..let me remind you..I missed the buck of a lifetime..no i'm still not over it..
Well i'm gonna e-mail some family about Christmas ideas...until next time..
3 years ago